i’m glad i never told you i love you

To the man that I will always love, this is a letter to you that I write that you will never read but I hope it touches your heart one day.

You appreciated me from Day One and I should have appreciated you the same but my fear from my past relationship stopped me from letting you have all of me. I had all of you but you didn’t have all of me when you deserved more than me.

Whenever we were together, I knew I was Home then. I knew what it was and it wasn’t a place but it was you. I knew it when we first met and I knew it the last time we ever saw each other and I’m glad I never told you I love you.

You used to watch me on the screen like you loved me and I could it in your eyes, whatever it was. I saw it as bright as day and I knew then that I never settled for less. I never settled for someone who wouldn’t appreciate me and it was all I needed.

I suppose the right thing to say would be “thank you” because I never thanked you for showing me what it was like to be treated like how I deserved. To be in a healthy, happy relationship even if we were not in one.

Even as I have more lovers after you, all of them don’t make me feel like how I used to feel when I was with you. There is nothing wrong with them but my heart always turns back to you and I still lay in bed sometimes thinking about what went wrong and what I could’ve said to make you stay. But the truth is, nothing would have made you stay anyway because you were already looking for a way out.

I’m glad I never told you I loved you because it would’ve hurt me more than it already did when you did find your way out.

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