taking a break from social media has made me realize how toxic it has been for me

Never have I at any point in my life feel the relief of having to deactivate my social media accounts.

I feel this sense of relief that I’ve never felt before and I don’t understand why. Perhaps, it’s the shallow ways of the people I see on the internet or perhaps, it’s just the way I’m built that makes the internet a negative impact on me.

Either way, I’ve never felt so much relief before.

I felt like my life was in shambles just days ago.

Someone who I had been dating just recently had only officially ended things with me three days ago. A friend of mine whom I consider to be my best friends had only just started seeing someone and as a result, prioritized him over me more than several times and whilst I made no complaint, it’s hard to ignore the side effects of it.

I was called “immature” by someone I thought I had good relations with. I had written an article prior to this one stating that I was immature in relationships but to hear it come out from someone else’s mouth — I’d never felt more hurt than that.

And then there’s home.

I can never get a break from it. It’s always a constant struggle to keep myself from breaking down every few hours because of the stress and work that needs to be made. I feel like at my age, I’m made to make decisions that go beyond.

And then there’s social media.

Oh, social media has taken so much from me. It’s taken my dignity, my self-respect, my respect for others and it’s taken away my life. I’ve paid too much attention to the lives of the people around me that I neglect my own.

I spent more time on myself when I deactivated my Instagram account for a few days. It wasn’t enough but it made me feel free of any burden that I carried. I busied myself with work and I’d never felt more relief than ever.

Just how much did I pay attention to social media that I neglected my life, relationships and mental health?

Too much, I reckon.

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